Lance was furious when his wife Stephanie announced she had become a Christian and wanted the children to know Jesus. “I don’t want my children brainwashed with fairytales!” he yelled. Stephanie does not regret her decision, but she worries her children may reject Christ because of Lance’s resistance to Christianity and their spiritual disunity as parents. She wonders if she should stay married to a man who has such disdain for God.
Perhaps you became a Christian after marriage, but your spouse has not come to faith in Christ. Even though your conversations are mostly good, discussions about God are cold and combative. You also worry about what people are thinking when you and the children attend church without your spouse. If this is your reality, here are two ways to sustain love in your marriage when your spouse does not share your love for Jesus.
Love Like a Christian
The Bible alerts Christians not to be “unequally yoked with unbelievers,” (1 Corinthians 6:14). The term unequally yoked is the idea of hitching together two animals of different species. An ox and an Alaskan husky paired to pull a sled will struggle because of their physical and instinctual differences. A mismatched couple may struggle because of their worldview differences. Still, marriage (equal or not) does not excuse us from being Christians. Loving with care and grace is key. Words “seasoned with salt” can create a thirst for the Gospel (Colossians 4:5-6) and foster genuine affection.
Love Like a Promise Keeper
Despite your spiritual status at the time, your wedding-day commitments were real. Be comforted in knowing God will enable you to keep your promises as you yield to Him. Paul writes, “To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him” (1 Corinthians 7:12-13).
The good news of this passage is spiritually incompatible marriages are sustainable – and may thrive – with love and commitment by both spouses. The unbelieving spouse could come to saving faith by the love and actions of the believer. Secondly, believers are not required to initiate divorce based on their spouse’s spiritual status.
Your new life in Christ is proof of God’s unconditional love. Extend God’s love and shower your spouse with the fragrance of Christ and watch God do the rest.
This article first appeared in The Birmingham Christian Family Magazine.
