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What is Your Marriage Temperature?

Have you considered all the things we measure with a thermometer? Assessing temperature is a normal part of life. We check the temperature of foods, our bodies, and the weather. Envision a thermometer with a sensor that calibrates and displays your marital health as hot, cold, or normal. Your assessment may involve inspecting your words, behavior, and communication. The findings will help you determine if you are drawing closer or farther apart.

Before you analyze your relationship, examine yourself. Inspect your heart to see if it is pure. If not, ask the Lord Jesus to give you a clean heart to live honorably with your spouse (Psalm 51:10).

Let's Explore Temperature Readings.


In marriage, temperatures may rise, and before you know it, communication between you and your spouse escalates to a degree that is hurtful. Words are spoken that lead to regret. The atmosphere can be cooled by remembering James 1:19 — “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” Choose to use your words to build up rather than tear down your spouse. The goal is to listen, seek to understand, be reconciled, and live in peace with one another. 


Can your communication be described as lackluster? You do not have to remain in this chilly state. You can warm things up by spending time together. Do a community service project. Visit a new town. There are numerous options. Discuss each other’s interests, highs, and lows. Reflect on when things were better and strive to make steady improvements. Work towards having a stable and enjoyable union filled with harmony and love.


Normal is the ideal and desirable temperature for maintaining a God-honoring marriage. In this environment, unity is demonstrated through mutual service to one another. Nurture the well-being of your marriage to avoid freezing or burning. Remain diligent in expressing love to each other. 

When your spouse is assured that you are committed to them, they feel valued and wanted. This assurance leads to stability, trust, and reasons to celebrate your oneness. Like the warmth of a cozy fire on a blustery morning, your relationship temperature is just right.  

What is your marriage thermometer reading? If it is not registering normal, implement changes so you can have a well-regulated marriage.

This article first appeared in the Birmingham Christian Family Magazine.

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